Monday, October 23, 2006

Kids Versus Cats

Cat owners will tell you that they are furry, funny, and an emotional treat to have around – so long as you realize that the feline is the boss. Kids can be funny, not quite as furry, and quite a handful. Trying to decide whether to head over to the animal shelter or stop by the fertility doctor? Here are some great things to keep in mind while you make your choice.

1. Cats start out life fiercely independent and won’t acknowledge their reliance on you for food and nourishment. It takes kids a good ten to twelve years to realize they don’t need you, even though they do.

2. Cats need to have their litter box changed daily their entire life. Kids finish with diapers after only two or three years.

3. You may gawk at how long your son’s hair has grown, but at least it stays on his head. Cats prefer to shed all over the furniture.

4. When your kids climb a tree, they can usually manage to come back down. Cats require assistance from the fire department.

5. Kids bring you homemade presents that you can display for years on end. Cats bring you dead birds and mice that you generally want to hide as quickly as possible.

6. Cats realize at birth that they are the center of the universe. Kids don’t come to this conclusion until they are teenagers, at which point the world automatically revolves around them.

7. Kids and cats are both excited by food from a can – either cat food or Chef Boyardee. But the kids don’t cough up hairballs in unexpected places.

8. Kids may decide to get random piercings, but at least they confine the self-mutilation to their own bodies. Cats prefer to sharpen their claws on your favorite couch, with antiques ranking high on the list.

9. When you have to take your child to the doctor, the odds are good that you can catch him or her easily, especially while they are small. Cats, however, are faster than greased lightning and have an instinctual dislike for the vet’s office. Plus, kids don’t scratch you at the doctor’s.

10. When your cat permits you to hug and cuddle with it, it acts as though it is doing you a favor. A child’s hug can be spontaneous and from the heart, and all embracing.


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